i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
