why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
