Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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