Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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