Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
