eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
