My first STD was from a foam party
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the liver wants what the liver wants
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
