More tranny stories later!
I'm lost and stupid without you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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