We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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