There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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