if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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