Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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