She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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