Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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