you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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