I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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