my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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