this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
