Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
