Do vagina's smell?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
