I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
