my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
