Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
