when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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