apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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