wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
