we have pet lesbian snakes
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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