speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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