just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
