All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dick very happy bro
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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