I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
