this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
