I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
