I want to make a zoo with you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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