I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
