we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
