Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think my vagina is haunted
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
