Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no you cant smoke seaweed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
