No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
