I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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