im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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