Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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