Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
