Yo dont text me then not text me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There r osticjed everywhere
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
