Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
