she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
