God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
