I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
