I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
