all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
